Do you know what you mean to me?
by CurvedYellowFruit
Summary: Belarus realises she likes Italy, but it's only after she told him to ask out Germany that she realises it. What is she going to do? Warning - use of real names as well as country names. Eg, Italy is also known as Feliciano.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! Now, before we begin, I know that the idea of ItalyxBelarus seems weird...but it kind of grew on me after a few days. If you hate this pairing, please, shut down this window, leave you PC, and then go back to your PC 5 mins later. I hope you enjoy, by the way.

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

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**_**Chapter 1 -He is always with me. No matter what.  
**

You know, it's weird. I'm cold-hearted, and you're warm-hearted. My country is cold, yours is hot. I have no friends other than you, you have plenty of them...all in all, we are opposites. But yet...I think I'm falling for you. Big time. No, I can't be. You love Ludwig, you've even told me. Right now, you're on your way to gather the courage to ask him out at last. God, that took a lot of convincing, you know. But, as long as you're happy, I'm happy. Because, to me, you are my closest friend, Feliciano. And...I don't want to ruin it. Trying to marry Ivan...it's all just a joke now. I've given up on it, as he refuses to speak to me. I don't even WANT to marry him any more! You know, it's quiet in Belarus when you're not here. I wish you were here...I miss you already... So then, it's true. I'm falling for you. I'm sure now. But...I don't want to lose your friendship. Ever. So, if Ludwig makes you happy, then...I'll be happy for you. And, if something does go wrong, I'm always there. No matter how much I hate the potato bastard. If he breaks your heart I'll break him... The phone! Dammit, I've been ignoring it! I pick up the phone, and put on my normal voice for phone conversations.

"Hello?" I ask, hoping it wasn't Francis. Oh God, anyone but him!  
"Bela-chan! It's me! Guess what? You were right! He said yes, ve! Oh, I'm so happy! I'll talk to you later, ve?" Feliciano shouts, hanging up.

So....that's it? He's now with Ludwig, huh? I put the phone down. Dammit, why don't I have any friends?? What kind of person would want to be friends with me, anyway? I push everyone away! But, wait. There is one person. A person who does love me. Toris. Although...I DID break his fingers on our last date. But I could give him a shot. It might get my mind off Feliciano. And, who knows? Maybe I'll be able to return Toris' affection for once! I pick the phone back up, and got my address book. I dialled his number, and waited for it to ring. Someone picked up the phone and sang a cheerful hello. Ivan.

"Hi, Russia. Can I speak to Lithuania, please?" I ask, in a slightly cheerful way.  
"Hm? Why do you want to speak to him? Is it important? It's not more threats, is it? I told you , Belarus, to not be mean to him." Ivan sighs  
"I'm not telling you why, it is important, it's not more threats and I promise that this time I will be nice." I answer back. I hear Ivan calling Toris, and the phone being passed from one person to another. Toris was now on the line.  
"B-Belarus? Is that you?" Toris' voice shook. Was he scared of me or Ivan?  
"Yeah, it's me. Listen, Lithuania....do you...want to go on a date with me? I promise not to hurt you this time." I smile.  
"Yeah, of course! Tomorrow night, at 7? I'll pick you up" he sounds excited.  
"Ok, sure. See you tomorrow, then." I hung up. I had just made a date with Toris.

I decided to make some pasta for dinner, as I had nothing else. Oh well, it gives the body energy. I put the pasta on a plate, and grab a fork. I start eating the pasta and frown. It's not the same as Feliciano's pasta. But, hey. He's probably with the potato bastard. As long as he's happy and, well....you know the rest. Dammit, my house is too quiet. It's funny, when Feliciano first visited, I slammed the door in his face and told him to go away. He came back a few hours later, and I got to know him. Of course, the first topic was pasta. He was so sweet. But I still acted like a hard-assed bitch. But now....I miss him terribly. I finish the pasta, and put the bowl in the sink. I lay down on my couch, and just thought about things. Do I really want to be with Toris, or do I want to be with Feliciano? I don't know. I jump up suddenly. It's either Toris, Francis or someone way more annoying. I can feel it already. I open the door, but only to see a beaming Feliciano looking at me.

"Bela-chan! Hug!" he smiles, hugging me. I blush bright red. What is he doing?  
"I-Italy-kun! Hi!" I smile back, as he pulled away from the hug.  
"Bela-chan? Are you okay? Your face is bright red!" he looks at me, concerned.  
"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine." I look away, trying to get rid of the blush.  
"Good. Thank you so much for the help with Germany, ve! We're going on a date tomorrow at 7! Which means I can't come see you, ve. Sorry." he frowned slightly. Wait...he was going on the date at the same time as my date with Toris!  
"It's okay. I have a date with Toris, anyway." I smile, looking in his eyes. Yeah, I may be going on a date with him, but I'll be thinking of you.  
"Why? I thought you didn't like him, ve?" he cocks his head, his hair curl bouncing slightly.  
I pause for a moment. No, he doesn't know why I'm doing this. I relax. "Well, I thought I could give him a chance. You don't get anywhere by being cold-hearted, you know. I know that all too well." I frown. He has no idea how cold and lonely it is here in Belarus when I'm on my own.  
"Hm, ok. Hey, could you give me advice for tomorrow, ve?" he smiled, his typical puppy-dog smile. How could ANYONE refuse that?  
"Actually, Italy-kun, I can't give dating advice. I've never been on a date before." I give him a fake smile. I don't want to see him frown.  
"Oh, alright then. Hey, can I come in yet? It's freezing out here, you know, ve!" he shivers. I'm not sure whether he's faking it or not.  
"Yeah, sorry." I let him in, and I hear plonking on the couch. Of course he would go there first.

We spoke for hours about everything. Even though Feliciano visits everyday, he always has something new to say. I listen as he tells me stories of his life, and even mentions some stories of his childhood. I check the time. 1 am. Dear God, we've been speaking for hours! And...I can't stay awake any longer. But...neither can he. We both fall asleep. My dreams are sweeter than any honey you could ever find. And I know that he is always with me. No matter what  


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Well, that's it for the first chapter. Yeah, I think it's a bit short. Not too bad for a BelarusxItaly story, huh? Oh, and she won't be going out with Toris for the rest of the story. I'll make sure of that. But, I hope you liked it, as Natalia is my favourite female character and Feliciano is my favourite male character. Ivan would be my favourite...if he wasn't so damn scary. Hope that you will read the next chapter too. And, and please review. Any good writer needs feedback, you know.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi again! Welcome to Chapter 2! Now, I hope this story isn't too weird by the way. This is my first Hetalia fanfic....should have said that earlier in all honesty. This is more popular than I expected. Oh, and Anyway, onwards with the epic storyness!

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

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**_

**Chapter 2 - I have to stop dreaming.  
**

I feel my mind returning to my body. Great, it's time to wake up. The sun shone through the window. Ah, the perfect 30 seconds of bliss, welcome into my mind. I open my eyes, and look around. This...isn't my bed! It's my living room! And...what the hell am I on? I look at the 'thing', and blush. Feliciano. He is still asleep, his hair curl bouncing to match the rhythm of his breathing. He was talking in his sleep, too. His most common words are 'Bela-chan', 'pasta' and 'Germany'. I smile, stroking his cheek...no! I can't do that! He's Ludwig's guy, now. I had missed my chance. I shouldn't let Ludwig lose his. I shake Feliciano, hoping he would wake up.

"Italy-kun, wake up!" I say, shaking him.  
"Hm? Bela-chan? I'm going back to sleep, ve!" he mutters, rolling over. I'd have to use my secret weapon!  
"Italy-kun? Pasta." I smile, watching as he bolted upright.  
"Pasta? Where, where? I want pasta, ve!" he smiles looking around.  
"There is no pasta. But...if you want to go on your date, you'd best go home, because you need to get ready! It's already... 3 pm?? Oh no!" I panic.  
"Really? Oh no! I'm sorry, Bela-chan, I have to go, ve!" he gets up, and runs out of the door. Dammit.

I suppose I should get ready for my date. I go in the shower, trying not to spend too long. After all, I need to save money, otherwise I won't have anything to eat. I get out, and wrap the closest towel around me, and run into my room. I look in the wardrobe....do I only own dresses? I sigh as I take out the plainest-looking dress - a dress that starts at my chest and ends at my knees. Blood-red, might I add. I put it on, making sure I don't look slutty. And now, I just have to wait 30 mins for Toris to arrive. I can't help but...feel sad. I let Feliciano just walk out. But, if things go well, I could be Toris' girlfriend. Ok, so maybe I'm using him as I'm on the rebound. But, a lot of good things could happen. I can already feel it, all the good things. But...what about Ivan? Has Toris told Ivan about the date? I don't even know. I get up to look for my mobile, and I hear it going off. I look at it, and I've got 3 texts, each from someone different.  
'Hey, it's Lithuania. Look, I may be a bit late. See you later.' I scroll down to the next text.  
'Good luck on your date tonight! I hope both of our dates go well!' Feliciano... I frown, and look at the next one.  
'It's Russia. I heard you were going on a date with Lithuania. Don't break his fingers this time.'

I look at the time. 7:30 pm. Toris should be here, soon. I look in the mirror. I look fine except....my bow! I run upstairs and get a blood red ribbon and put it in my hair. Then, I made the bow. Now I feel much better. I hear faint knocking on the door. Crap, it's Toris! I run downstairs and open the door. And there he was. Toris. He looked a bit shy, and was clutching a bouquet of black roses. They must have cost a fortune!

"Hi, Lithuania! Come in!" I skillfully smile a fake smile.  
"Belarus, are you ready, then?" he asks, still holding the roses. "Oh, and these are for you."  
I take the roses. "Thank you. I'll just go get my shoes on, and I'll be done, alright?"  
"Yeah, of course." he looks a bit red. Is he okay?

I run upstairs. Shoes, shoes, shoes....! Found the pair! Blood red shoes, to go with my bow and dress. I hope I don't look too slutty. And I hope Toris doesn't get too shy. I walk back down stairs, careful not to fall. I don't wear high heels every day, so I'm not used to them. Toris looks...amazed. His eyes are wide open, and he looks like a statue. What is wrong with him? Do I really look that slutty?

"Lithuania....what's wrong?" I ask, as his face was turning a deep red.  
"You look...stunning." he manages to whisper. I blush. The only other person to have said that was Feliciano. Dammit, I have to get him out of my mind!  
"So...what did you have in mind?" I smile at him, hoping he would calm down.  
"Well, and all-time classic. Dinner and a movie. I'm not too good with dates. And...you won't break my fingers, right?" he looks scared now. Is this why I have no friends?  
"Lithuania, I already promised - I'm not going to hurt you. Unless you seriously annoy me. But, I doubt you would do that, right?" I look at him in the eyes. I hate doing that.  
"No, I would never hurt you or annoy you purposely." he looks at me in the eyes, too.

You know, I hope this works out. Then I could stop thinking about Feliciano. It's a one-sided crush, anyway. What's the point? I'll end up pushing him away if we do end up together, or 'll be just plain cruel. I have to stop dreaming.

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Well, that's it for Chapter 2! Please, feel free to review, ask questions, add suggestions...anything! I'm sorry about the length, but I wanted to stop it before they went on the date. Don't worry, they will go on another date, but...hey! I was about to tell you the plot, there! Hah, you can wait, can't you? Hope you will read Chapter 3, which will I will be writing as you read this one. I promise I won't be too long!


	3. Chapter 3

And welcome to Chapter 3! That wasn't too long...was it? Only....what? A few hours? Most authors take days to write the next chapter! But I promise, unless this story goes downhill or I get writer's block, I will update regularly! And, it isn't too hard, as Natalia is my favourite character. So...yeah. It's really fun to write this! Oh, and I'm not a fan of LithuaniaxBelarus or GermanyxItaly. Mainly because it annoys me how Italy has a crush on Germany and he doesn't notice! What an idiot! If he were here...I would slap him. Oh, getting distracted! Onwards to the disclaimer and the story!

_****__**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

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**_

******Chapter 3 - Why can't you get out of my mind?  
**

We are in Toris' car, on our way to the cinema first. His car is pretty big. I would say what car it is, but I have no idea. Toris kept his eyes on the road, seemingly refusing to look at me. But, he did look at me earlier....and then we almost crashed. Maybe he's just a terrible driver...who knows? The ride to the cinema is awfully quiet. If I were with another guy, there would at least be MUSIC on! Hell, I'm sure even Kiku would have said something by now! I frown, looking out towards the deserted road. It was weird...no speaking, a deserted road...what was going on? Was Toris okay?

"L-Lithuania? Are you alright? You're not speaking. Hell, even Kiku is more talkative than you are right now!" I look at him, trying to stop myself from looking and being angry.  
He laughed slightly. "Well, what is there to say?" he paused for a minute, thinking. "Belarus? Why did you ask me out?" he looked at me, his blue eyes staring into my own eyes. Can he...no, he can't see through me. No one can. I'm a good liar if it's needed.  
"Well...everyone deserves a real chance, don't they? And I thought that I didn't give you a real chance, and I am sorry about that." I look away. I can't stand him looking at me like that. It makes me feel...so guilty.  
"It's okay, Belarus. You know, I never thought I'd get this chance. I thought that I should give up on you, and I had. But now...I'm finally going on a date with you. Romance works in mysterious ways, doesn't it?" he smiles. I blink back tears.  
"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" I smile. Don't cry, Natalia, you'll give it all away!

We are almost there. The deserted roads are now filled with cars, and streetlights can be seen. The city life, the noises...oh, I hate the city. No matter which city it is, I still hate it. I could be in Paris, London, or Milan for all I care, I would still hate it. I look around. The cinema! Dear God, it's huge! The building is huge, as well as the parking lot! I wonder if Toris would be able to find a space...yeah, maybe. I'm sure we will find something...right? Oh, I don't even know anymore, or care! Toris is driving round the parking lot, and eventually he finds a place to park. We get out of the car, and I'm glad it's not too cold out, but it's still pretty cold. I'm....shivering? Oh, great! But it's not even that cold outside! Probably should have brought a jacket, to be honest.

"So, which movie are we watching?" he asked, looking at what we could watch.  
"We could watch Avatar. Nothing else interests me." I shrug.  
"Alright then." he walks over to the ticket counter "Two tickets for Avatar, please." he says to the woman, and walks towards me. "The movie starts in 30 minutes. We have time to get snacks, in the meantime."  
"Yeah, sure. But, I just want popcorn and a cola." I tell him, walking to the snack counter with him.  
"Two large popcorn, one cola and one lemonade, please." he asks the man at the counter. Large?

We get our food, and walk into the room. There aren't many people here yet, so we can get good seats. We sit down at the back, so one can see us. Not like I'm going to try anything with him...I think. Toris is kind of cute, but...we aren't very connected. Still, I should give him a shot. Who knows? Maybe I'll love him back, maybe I could find happiness, for once. The movie is starting, but I'm not paying too much attention. I've got too much on my mind. But, I could at least make it look like I'm slightly interested in Toris. I put my head on his shoulder, and he jumped. I look up at him, and he is already looking down at me, his face bright red. He puts his arm around me, and I blush. I'm...being hugged? This feels weird, but I like it. Oh, wait until Feliciano hears about this date! I can't wait to tell him! But, still. I'm not feeling anything for Toris. Maybe later, I will. Or, if I...no, I can't kiss him. But, if I want this to work...I have to. I peck him on the cheek, and his cheeks turn as red as my dress. Finally, the movie ends! The lights switch on, and everyone starts to leave. Except us. We wait until most of the people have gone, since we aren't in a hurry. We walk out, and I slip my hand in his. I guess I just have to force a crush on him.

"B-Belarus, do you want to go for dinner, now?" he asks, looking away from me.  
"Yeah, sure. I'm pretty hungry." I smile, walking outside with Toris. Damn, forgot it was cold out here!

And time for another silent ride in the car. Dammit, I wish I asked Kiku out, now. It would have been a hell of a lot less awkward. And a lot less quiet. At least some kind of music would be playing! I should text Feliciano...I wonder how his date is going?  
'Hey, it's Belarus! How's your date going? Mine is fine, and Lithuania seems so sweet. I'll talk to you later.'  
I put my phone back into my pocket, and sigh. I hate lying to Feliciano, but I don't want him to worry. And the truth is unbearable, even for me. I can't just tell Feliciano 'Oh, yeah, I lied. The date was pretty downhill. I had to pretend to be interested in him, when really I'm interested in you.' I mean, what the hell would I say? What can I say? Why can't you get out of my mind?

* * *

Aw, I feel bad, writing this story. But, I'm sure there will be a happy ending, right? Right? Oh, someone tell me it's ok! Haha, I'm kind of hyper now. Okay, so maybe I'm dragging out the date a little. Only because I need something to write about! Hah, if this wasn't dragged out, I may already be at the part where...you almost tricked me again! I will never tell the plot! Never! Well....I will as soon as the story is complete. Haha, I wonder if it ever will be complete....I hate things being over. If I do finish it, though, I might make a sequel. Oh, that would be awesome! Yeah, I think I know when I'll finish it. Don't worry, it will be ages before I finish it, though. If anyone notices the link between the chapter titles and the story....then you win. I don't know what you will win yet...you just have to win first heehee. See you in Chapter 4, where the restaurant part of the date begins!


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! Chapter 4 already? Man, my imagination is real fast. But, that's good, right? This story is sort of unpopular, to be honest, but....more popular than expected. Oh well, as long as I have at least one person who likes this...then I'm happy. Better then having no one and basically writing to myself. Hah, yeah...anyway, onwards with the disclaimer and the story! ...please? Can we continue yet?

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS. Well, I do own any character I make up.**_

**Chapter 4 - I'm sorry, Toris.  
**

We have finally arrived in the restaurant! I swear, 5 more minutes in silence in that car, and...it drives me nuts just thinking about it! At least now Toris doesn't have an excuse to be quiet! Now, it will be just me and him in a....oh, come on! What the hell? An Italian restaurant? Is he TRYING to kill me? I miss Feliciano enough without this, too! I pretend to be happy, and walk in with Toris. There is a man in a suit at the front, with some sort of weird mustache. God, this is an insult to what Italians look like. Although...Feliciano has that cute little hair curl...aw, dammit! Why this restaurant? I'd rather be stuck in McDonald's with Alfred right now!

"Good evening, sir. Table for two?" the man asks.  
"Hey, is that mustache real?" I say, smiling.  
"I beg your pardon? This mustache is real!" he looks at me, horrified. If I keep this up, we'll be kicked out....perfect!  
I reached over to his face, and pulled on the mustache-looking thing "Hm, it's real. You were right. What about that obviously fake accent? Is that real? Because, my closest friend is Italian, and his accent isn't that retarded!" I whispered.  
"Belarus! Don't be so rude!" Toris looked at me, horrified.  
"You know, this job is real hard without the likes of you. And, your name is Belarus? You're named after a country? Do you know how SAD that is? What, your parents hated you that much?" the man laughed. That hurt!  
"I never had a mother or father. I only had a brother who I stalked and a sister who had money problems. You think your life is bad? Try being like me. Quit whining. Come on, Li-I mean, Toris. I'm not hungry anymore."  
"Natalia, are you alright?" he looks at me, those blue eyes staring deep into my soul..hah! It worked! I've forced a crush on Toris!  
"Hey, wait! You just called her 'Belarus'! What is her real name?" the mustache freak asked.  
"My name? It's Belarus. But, I'm known as Natalia Arlovskaya to your kind. I don't even see why I'm introducing myself to you." I say, blinking back tears.  
"Natalia, we had better go. No point in starting pointless fight, right?" Toris smiles hopefully.  
"Yeah, you're right." I nod, walking out with Toris, holding his hand.

I must admit, Toris is really sweet...I think. I don't really know him that much, in all honesty. I still like Feliciano but...he's different. They are both so different. And I think I've actually fallen for Toris, too. We walk towards the car, still hand in hand. I want to see if these feelings aren't just made to cover what is really there. I need to make sure that I'm not lying to myself, that I'm not using him. I stop him, looking into the crystal-clear blue eyes looking at me. I lean over, and kiss him. I...feel something. A spark? Maybe. I break the kiss, looking away. I have to confess, why I really asked him out.

"Lithuania, listen. I...have to say something. The reason I asked you out was because I need to get my mind off I-ah, never mind that. The point is, I only asked you out, because I neded to do something. But, you know, I'm glad I did it. I'm happy that I asked you out." his smile is replaced with a frown. I've hurt him, haven't I?  
"Belarus, I'm sorry. I'm going to take you home, now. Is that alright?" he says, his voice shaking. He's hurt.  
"Lithuania, I..." I hug him, hoping to see him smile.  
"Save it. I don't want excuses." he snaps, breaking away from the hug. What have I done?

I'm home. Toris drove away the moment I left the car. He's really mad with me, isn't he? I've hurt him, more than anyone could imagine. I get out my phone from my pocket and kick off my shoes. Hey, I got a text from Feliciano!  
'It's going well. Just got home, didn't have a chance to text back. If you're home before midnight, can you call? I want to hear about your date.' I looked at the time. 10:38. Good.  
'Actually, Italy, if you're not busy, can you come over? I need to talk to someone right now.' I send the text. I hope he comes.

I lay down on my couch, and just think. What have I done? I've seriously hurt Toris! What am I going to do? Toris will probably never speak to me again! And, I don't blame him. I feel something on my cheek. Am I...crying? Oh no! How could I have hurt him like this? How could I be so...cruel? So, THIS is why I have no friends? I'm sorry, Toris.

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And that's it for Chapter 4! Sorry this one was shorter than the others, and sorry TorisxNatalia fans! I really tried to make it work, but...the plot, you understand? It just doesn't support two-timing! Anyway, I'll get started on Chapter 5 now! Please review, as you know. Feedback, questions, comments, suggestions...anything is appreciated! ^.^


	5. Chapter 5

Ah, Chapter 5 already. Wait...*counts how any chapters she wrote in 1 day*...4 chapters in one day? Well, technically, I wrote the first chapter at 2 am this morning, so...it's still today, right? But, hey, I gotta admit, my ideas are flowing quite nicely. And they make sense. Unlike random stories I write in my spare time. Oh, the fun of writing random stories when you're bored.... Anyway, I'm guessing it's time for....*drum roll* THE DISCLAIMER! Haha, you thought I was going to say something cool. But I tricked you, didn't I? Yeah, because I win. Oh, and you lost the game.

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

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**_**Chapter 5 - Just calm down.  
**

I wipe away the tear. Damn, I haven't cried since...Ivan first rejected my marriage offer. That's probably why I went insane. But, at least I have one good friend, who will hopefully be here, soon. I relax on the couch, my memories becoming less and less painful. Someone knocked on the door, and I jumped. Feliciano came? I walk to the door to open it, and there is it. He had a huge grin on his face, and his curl was bouncing, a sign that he's happy. He sees my face, and frowns. Oh no, I made him feel bad. Am I just cursed to make men feel terrible or something? I invite him in, and makes a run for the couch again. I sit down next to him, and I look into those gorgeous honey-coloured eyes, and break down. He hugs me, playing with my hair at the same time. Usually, it makes me feel slightly better if I'm not in a good mood.

"Bela-chan? What's wrong? What did Lithuania say, ve? Did he hurt you?" he says, sounding like he's panicking.  
"No, it's not him, Italy-kun. I said that I only went out with him to get my mind off y-actually, never mind who the person is, it doesn't matter. And it really hurt him, so then...I tried to tell him that I really like him now, but then his reply was 'Save it, I don't want excuses'. I've ruined it all, haven't I?" I sob, hugging him closer.  
"I don't think you have, I'm sure he will forgive you. He's not that cold-hearted, ve" he says, trying to cheer me up. "And, who was the person, anyway?" I turn bright red.  
"Well...it doesn't matter now. I don't have a chance with either of them, so why should I even care or bother? I should just...disappear off the map completely. No one wants me here." I sniff.  
"Bela-chan, I want you here. You're my best female friend, ve! I don't want you to disappear!" he complains, still hugging me. The mixture of cologne and pasta smells so pleasant.

You know, it's odd. We are complete opposites, yet I've never been so attracted to a guy. It's like...Feliciano is everything I'm not. Literally. He means the world to me, but yet...I have to let him go. He can never be mine. Or anyone else. I shun every guy that tells me I look cute, apart from Feliciano. Maybe...I deserve to be on my own. Ivan doesn't want me, Toris doesn't want me...the only person who wants me to exist is Feliciano. I just wish...I knew sooner that I was falling for him. Even though he's my best friend, still...I can't help it. I have to control myself, I can't ruin it now. I don't want to do anything stupid. I don't want this moment to end, though...

...what the hell? Where the hell am I? Oh, my room...hey, wait a minute! How did I get here? The last thing I remember was closing my eyes when Feliciano was hugging me...wait, is he still here? I get up from my bed, and run downstairs. Feliciano is asleep on my couch, saying 've' and his hair curl moving up and down to match his breathing. He looks...adorable. He must have carried me to my bed last night, then slept on my couch. That was so kind of him! I should really wake him up, in all honesty. I shake him gently, and he begins to wake up. He's easier to wake up today. I smile at him.

"Good morning, Italy-kun." I say, looking in his honey eyes. No honey could compare to his sweetness, though.  
"Morning....? Oh no, I'm late! Germany is going to kill me! I'm sorry, Bela-chan, I have to run again!" he gets up from the couch.  
"Hey, wait! Will you stop rushing off, for once? Hey, get back here! Dammit, Italy!" I sigh, still smiling. That idiot...

And yet again, I've been abandoned. Great. No one will speak to me. I could text Toris and apologize. Where did my phone go? I think it's on the couch...oh, there it is. I grab it, and send a text to Toris.  
'Look, I'm sorry about everything. I had a great time last night until I said what I said. I really do like you, you know.' I frown as I get the reply. It's not a good one.  
'You break my heart and expect me to forget it? After you tell me that you are in love with the pasta freak and that you only asked me out because you needed a distraction from your heart, you think I'm going to be forgiving you easily?' I send back a reply.  
'We need to talk about this, obviously. And I never said it was Italy! Can't we at least talk about what happened? Please?'  
'No, we can't. And it's obvious you love Italy! I think the only person who doesn't see that is the idiot himself! And what an idiot, too! He's throwing away such a beautiful gem. Call me if it's important or when you don't have a crush on an idiot.'

So, that's it. He hates me. Until I stop liking Feliciano, I...can't be happy. I'm sure I can just be friends with him, right?Yeah, maybe. I jump as someone knocked on the door. Who the hell would be at my house? Toris hates me and Feliciano is with the potato bastard. Wait....Kiku?

"J-Japan? What are you doing here?" I look at him, amazed.  
"Hey, is Italy-kun here? We were meant to be meeting at my house, but he hasn't turned up. I was wondering if he'd forgotten or something." he looks at me. He's probably wondering why I'm wearing the clothes from last night.  
"No, he left for Germany's house a few minutes ago. Hey, Japan, I really need someone to talk to right now..." I look away, embarrassed. What was he thinking...?  
"I see... What's wrong, Belarus-chan?" he looks at me, confused. He is the only one who calls me 'Belarus-chan', and Feliciano is the only one who calls me 'Bela-chan'. Odd.  
" Come in. It's too cold to be standing out there, especially with what you're wearing." I say to him. letting him in.

He takes off his shoes and walks into the living room. I follow him, as he sits on the floor. He's the only one who doesn't sit on the couch. He's a strange guy, I'll tell you that. I sit down on the couch, and look at him. I take in a deep breath, and calm down. I shouldn't panic, Kiku is trustworthy and doesn't tell anyone anything. I trust him completely. I need to tell someone, and it's either him or live with the guilt forever. Just calm down.

"It's about Italy-kun. You see..."

* * *

And that's the end of Chapter 5. Haha, left in suspence! Oh, I'm so cruel! This is the longest chapter up to now! No, these have not been written days before then put on this website all in 1 day. Nope, I write 1 chapter in about...a few hours? I think of an idea, I write it. No matter what I'm doing, my flow of ideas doesn't break. I've just got an unbeatable creativity. If I could draw, I would be an amazing artist, in all honesty. I'm getting better at drawing, though. And that's the main point. I'm getting better all the time at everything. Writing, drawing, cooking....apart from cleaning. I hate cleaning...way too much. Anyway, I'll see you at Chapter 6 (already??)!


	6. Chapter 6

And welcome bavk! Do I only have, like, 1 fan? Dear God, I feel lonely! Oh well. I'm sure others are reading this...right? Yeah, maybe. Anyway...onwards! To the disclaimer! CHARGE! *Jumps on a horse that came out of nowhere*

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS. Well, I do own any character I make up.

* * *

**_**Chapter 6 - Do you really mean it?  
**

"It's about Italy-kun. You see...Japan, I think I've fallen for him." his eyes were widening as he took in what I had just said.  
"...does he have any idea?" he asks. I shake my head.  
"No. He has no clue. He's still as clueless as a child." I frown.

Ah, this is so damn difficult! I'm talking to a guy who isn't even my friend! I'm telling him a dark secret! Him and Feliciano are the only people I trust, I suppose. I've learned to trust no-one. And I barely trust myself as it is. But, at least I always have someone I can trust in this world. I smile.

"Japan, what should I do? I know the whole 'if I truly loved him I could let him go' bullcrap, yet...I have no one else. Not even Lithuania will talk to me anymore! I've ruined everything. I should face it - I'm about as useful to Europe as Sealand is to the world." I sigh. Glad to get that rant out of me.  
"Tell him how you feel. It's the best option. After all, the worst he could say is that he doesn't love you back." he looks at me, his eyes unreadable.  
"You don't know what it's like being rejected and completely alone. You've always had friends. My only real friend is Italy, and I'm sure Im going to ruin it. Why do I even bother? It doesn't matter - he's in love with Ludwig." I try to blink back tears. Kiku's face turned more serious.  
"Do not give up. Even if it costs your life." he says, his words harsh.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. Who the hell could it be? Feliciano is busy, Toris hates me, Ludwig is also busy, Alfred is probably doing something with Arthur, Francis is busy doing perverted French things, Matt is probably eating maple syrup on pancakes while watching hockey, and Romano is probably doing something very uninteresting...it's problably so boring, that I shouldn't have mentioned it. Oh well. I open the door, and I see a crying, shaking, mentally broken-down Italian man. I look at him in horror. He looks like he had just witnessed a murder or some other horrific crime that is too horrible to mention, like necrophilia. Ew. He looks traumatised....and terrified. I let him in, and he sat on the couch, as per usual. I walk into the living room, and he is still shaking. It can't be the cold, then. I sit next to him, looking into his eyes, more tears threatening to fall.

"I-Italy-kun? What's wrong? What happened? Did someone get hurt?" I look at him, and then realise Kiku is still here. Dammit.  
"Germany....doesn't really love me. P-Prussia told me. And you know what he's like - he tells everyone uncomfortable truths, ve. He s-said that Germany only said yes because he didn't want to hurt me by saying no!" I can see Kiku giving a slight hint of a smile towards me. Since when is he Cupid, then?  
"Italy-kun, I'm sure there are plenty more people out there, and I know that there is someone who likes you in that way." Kiku hints. I get a pillow from behind my back and throw it at the Japanese man. Feliciano laughs slightly, as Kiku gets hit by the soft flying object.  
"Like who, then? What kind of person would want a clumsy, stupid, cowardly cry-baby, anyway, ve?" Feliciano sniffs. Kiku gets the pillow off his face, and looked at me, as if to say 'now is your chance. Say it!'  
"Well, I can think of one girl right now. I'm sure you'd like her very much." Kiku smiles, seemingly hopeful the crying Italian got the hint.  
"You mean...Seychelles, ve??" Feliciano sniffs again. Idiot.  
"No, Italy-kun. He...he means me." I look away, cheeks going red. I haven't felt this embarrassed since my date with Toris.  
"What? What do you mean, ve?" he asks, wiping his eyes. Again, idiot.  
"Don't you know?" I ask him, still looking away.  
"Know what, ve?"  
"Do you know...how much you mean to me?" I whisper, hoping he heard it. Well, Kiku did, as seen my the smile on his face.  
"....no. I suppose I don't, ve!" he is still looking at me. I turn around, and look into the honey-coloured eyes that made my heart flutter.  
"You...you mean everything to me. You are half of who I am. You are everything I'm not. And I...I think I love you." I say, still looking in his eyes. He thought for a moment.  
"You know what? I think...that's what I feel about you, too!" oh, Kiku is enjoying this. Note to self - hit him later.  
"You know, I think I should leave. I'll see you two later." Kiku smiles, walking out of my house. Thank God, privacy!

Kiku's gone. Just me and Feliciano. I can't believe it. I've never seen him so quiet, no even when he's asleep! There was one thing bothering me. One thing I had to ask him. If I didn't, then it would be like trying to cover up spilled glue with newspaper. Not a good idea.

"Italy-kun...do you really mean it?" I whisper. Does he, then?

* * *

And I've made it! Chapter 6 is DONE! Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep this over 1000 words? Real hard. And...now I've seriously deviated from my original plot. Oops. So now, what happens next is a complete mystery to all of us. Haha...yeah, I'm screwed. Oh well, I can think on my feet. I finally managed to get the title in the story! I got the idea from Family Guy, I think, where Peter says he gets all excited when he hears the title of the movie IN the actual movie! Anyone seen that episode? Oh yeah, I'm thinking of writing another story, Natalia being the main character again. What do you guys think? Let me know. Please review...even if it IS my only fan that comments. Oh well!


	7. Chapter 7

Ch-Ch-Chapter 7, folks! Don't worry, THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! It's okay, don't cry! Shh, no-one is going to hurt you! You're safe. Okay, so I've only just woken up (yes, at 1 pm), and I'm already awake enough to start this exciting new chapter! And that's why there were no updates - I do not have the ability to write in my sleep. Oh, I love this story! I think of it as making a cake...okay, I thought I failed at first, but it seems to be baking quite nicely ^.^ don't you guys think? Oh and guess what time it is now? Yep it's time for the d-d-disclaimer!

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

* * *

**_**Chapter 7 - Who knew how much could happen in 2 days?  
**

"Italy-kun...do you really mean it?" I whisper. Does he, then? He pauses, and combs his fingers through his hair. He's thinking of away to explain it, I'm sure.  
"Bela-chan...you know that I would never lie to you, ve! Why...didn't I realise until now that I really care about you?" he looks away, his beautiful eyes filled with saddness.  
"In all honesty, I only realised that I love you after I told you that you should ask Germany out. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to be unhappy with me when you could of had Germany instead." I say. Now I wish I didn't say it.  
"Bela-chan, do you think...our relationship would work? Because I don't want to lose you, ve!" he says, grabbing my hand.  
"Of course! We just need to give it a shot! But wait, what are you going to do about Germany?" I ask, honestly curious.  
"I'll tell him-wait, is that my phone?" he takes his phone out of his pocket. "Hello? -Yes, Prussia did say that! -Yes, I do believe him! Goodbye, Germany!" he hung up, obviously annoyed.  
"Well, I guess you've just told him. Hey, I bet Japan has already told Korea about us and...oh, joy." I say. Oh no, he is the biggest gossip out of all of us! We're doomed!  
"No, Japan wouldn't do that, ve!" he smiles.  
"Yeah, you're right. Hey wait...are we a couple, then?" I say, blushing slightly. Feliciano pauses for a minute, thinking.  
"Yep! I mean, how can we NOT be a couple after what we said to each other, ve?" he cocks his head, an obvious sign of confusion. I can't help but giggle.  
"I don't know. But...I'm glad Japan was here. Otherwise, I wouldn't have said anything." I hug him. Oh, he's so warm! His arms wrap round me.  
"Well then, I'll thank Japan later, ve!" he says, stroking my hair.

The feeling of being in Feliciano's arms is...indescribable. He is strong, yet so soft. He smells so nice, and he is so warm. He is my opposite. Like light and darkness, fire and water, yin and yang. Complete opposites, but yet we are connected in a way that no-one else sees. A connection so mysterious, that I can't even understand. I suppose that's what makes me attract to him. He sees a side of me that no-one else has, a side no-one really wants to see until they've seen it. And, I'm glad I can share that side with someone...even if he is a complete idiot. I still care about him, and I only want him to be happy, even if I have to die. I would rather be wiped off the map , instead of seeing him unhappy. The ultimate sacrifice...would it be worth it? Giving away all you have just for one person? It depends on the person, really. But, for Feliciano? I would make that sacrifice. Even if I have to turn into a human, I'll do it to make Felicano happy. Suddenly, my train of thought has burst. Someone was banging on the door and shouting. God, it reminds me of...Ludwig? Oh no! No, no, no, no! I break from the hug, before Ludwig breaks down my door.

"Belarus! Open up! NOW!" Ludwig shouts, still trying to break down the door.  
"Will you wait a minute? Dammit, you're giving me a headache!" I shout back, opening the door.  
"Where the hell is he?" he says, talking through gritted teeth.  
"Who? Japan? He left an hour ago!" I smirk, knowing who he meant.  
"Don't fuck with me, Belarus! Where is Italy?" he asks, still talking though gritted teeth.  
"Hm? You mean South Italy? I'm sure he's with Spain. Go check his house." I smile. I'm having fun with this! Suddenly, he grabs me by my shirt.  
"Where is NORTH Italy? Tell me where he is or I'll crush you right here, right now!" the German man is being serious. I gulp. Oh shit.  
"You'll just have to kill me. I'm not saying anything to a LIAR!" I say, spitting in his face. Bad move. I'm as good as dead.  
"Liar? I'm not a liar. And fine, you asked for it!"  
"STOP! Please, Germany, put her down!" that voice...the voice of an angel...no, the voice of **my **angel...Feliciano! Ludwig put me down. Thank God. I walk over to Feliciano, secretly placing my knife behind my back. I haven't used this since the last time I asked Ivan to marry me.  
"There. Done. Now, what is all this about Prussia saying I don't love you?" the potato bastard asks. Damn, I could punch him right now.  
"Is that all you came here for? For that? I'm sorry, but I believe Prussia, ve! I can't trust you anymore. You broke my heart." Feliciano explains.  
"So, you won't believe me? Even though Prussia was lying?" Ludwg is getting angry. I grab Feliciano's hand.  
"No, Germany. I don't believe you. I'm sorry." Feliciano frowned. Ludwig notices I'm holding Feliciano's hand. Oh shit. Hell is nothing compared to Ludwig's wrath!  
"What is she doing, holding your hand?" Ludwig asks, trying to stay calm.  
"Haven't you guessed yet? Italy-kun and I are going out. Now, I would appreciate it if you left now." I say, reaching for my knife.  
"Fine, I'll go. But as soon as you two split up...I'll be back!" Ludwig shouted as he walked out the door.  
"Bela-chan, are you okay?" Feliciano asks, hugging me.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I reply. Who knew how much could happen in 2 days?

* * *

And that's the end of the chapter! The original idea was for Ludwig to touch Feliciano's curl, but...most people wouldn't get it. Oh well, I still had a good idea. Yeah, I HAD to include Gilbert, even if I do find him annoying. And, I'm sorry most of the chapter is speech, but...hey, you got to put drama in a story SOMEHOW! Oh, how I keep twisting the plot! Oh, I'm making them go to a party in the next chapter...that's something to look forward to. Oh, and I will be writing a sequel. ^.^


	8. Chapter 8

Time for Chapter 8! Be warned - there will only be about 2 chapters left, including this one. And yes, the sequel IS going to happen! Just making sure you guys get it ^.^ and hopefully, you will enjoy this chapter! And over to you, disclaimer!

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.

* * *

**_**Chapter 8 -I've made another mistake!  
**

"Italy-kun, are you almost ready? We have to go, like, 10 minutes ago! We're going to be late! And you know what France is like if we're late to any of his parties, ESPECIALLY New Year's!" I shout up the stairs. Honestly!  
"I'm trying to do my tie, ve!" he shouts back.  
"Come down here, I'll do it for you!" I hear footsteps clattering down the stairs, and an over-excited Feliciano is standing in front of me. I do the tie up. Honestly, what a kid!  
"Thanks, Bela-chan!" he smiles, rushing out the door to get the car started already.

Oh, this is exciting. The only people who know so far about my relationship with Feliciano are Ludwig and Kiku. But, oddly enough, neither of them have told anyone. But Feliciano and I have been going out for a week only, so that explains it. Toris is still avoiding me. Not surprising, though. I did hurt him real bad. He won't even let me apologise! I call every day, but every time I get an angry Ivan saying 'Don't you get it?? He doesn't want to talk to you!' and then hangs up. Maybe I'll speak to him at the party! Ah, my phone! Dammit, who dares interrupt my train of thought? Francis?  
"Hey, what's up?" I answer in a casual tone.  
"Where are you? The party's almost started!" he said, panicking. God, THIS is why I didn't want to leave too late!  
"Well...I left a bit too late. I'm almost there!" I sigh.  
"Good! Hurry up, we can't wait forever!" he said, hanging up. Jackass.

Feliciano heard the conversation, and went faster. Dammit, he's scaring the hell out of me! I hate it when he drives fast! But, at least we're almost there. Feliciano parks, and we jump out of the car. We run into Francis' mansion, and all eyes are on us. The two who arrived late is probably on their minds. I feel so embarrassed! All the countries are here, even...Toris! Oh my God, he's here! I can talk to him later! Francis tells everyone that the party can now start, and music starts playing. I grab Feliciano's hand, and walk over to Ivan. At least I know I can talk to him...I think.

"Russia nii-san! Hi!" I smile. He looks...scared.  
"B-Belarus! I don't want to marry you!" he replies, shaking. I roll my eyes.  
"Unless you haven't noticed, I don't want to marry you anymore." I look at him, and probably scared him to death.  
"H-help! She's back!" Ivan shouted, running away. Dammit. Oh well, next person: Toris.

"Lithuania! Hi!" I smile, still holding Feliciano's hand.  
"Oh, hey Belarus. And I see you brought the pasta-loving idiot. How lovely." he says. He sounds...disgusted?  
"Hi, Lithuania! How are you, ve?" Feliciano asks, ignoring the insult.  
"I'm fine. Do you mind if I talk to Belarus on her own, Italy?" Toris asks, slightly annoyed. Is he annoyed with me or Feliciano?  
"Ok. I'll talk to you later, Bela-chan, ve!" Feliciano says, walking off.  
"Wait, I thought you didn't want to talk to me?" I ask, looking at him straight in the eyes. That feeling is back...oh no.  
"Who said that? Russia? No, I told him that 1 day! I was actually waiting for you to call." he smiles.  
"I've been calling all week! But every time, I get an angry Ivan." I sigh  
"Sorry about that, heh." he scratches the back of his head. Suddenly, slow music starts to play. Where is Feliciano? Oh, he's talking to Ludwig. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And I am so not being sarcastic right now! "Belarus, can I...have this dance?" Toris asks, blushing slightly.  
"Yeah, okay." I reply, holding out my hand.

I must admit. Even though I'm a girl...I've never done ballroom dancing. I'm the only female country that just won't dance. Even Belgium dances more than me! I put my left hand on Toris' shoulder and held his left hand in my right hand. I feel so...dizzy. I never would have thought of dancing like this! Spinning round and round, letting him lead the dance...I've never felt like this! A strange rush of adrenalin is flowing inside me, giving me power and energy. I'm forgetting everything, including Feliciano. Wait...what am I doing? I look around the dance floor, and see a confused Feliciano dancing with a happy Ludwig. Oh well, everything looked fine. I just wish right now...that this song and dance would last forever. But...who do I want to dance with more? Toris or Feliciano? I can't believe I'm confused between a choice of my boyfriend and a guy that I've had a crush on for ages, and just not realised. I'm...confused. What should I do? What can I do? I'm stuck here, having a great time dancing with Toris. My mind wants me to stop, yet my heart wants to continue. I'm...so confused. His eyes...are as blue as the most beautiful sea. What am I doing? What about Feliciano? I love him! But...I think I love Toris, too! Dammit, why does this have to be so hard?

"Belarus...I love you." Toris whispers into my ear. I blush bright red.

We look into eachother's eyes for what feels like forever. And you know what? I believe him. I believe that he truly loves me. I want to follow my heart, but...it doesn't know where to go, either! Dammit, I can't make a choice without hurting someone! I start crying, and look away from his eyes. He stops the dance, and lifts up my chin. I look into those blue eyes, and...I can't halp myself. I close my eyes, and let him kiss me. When he breaks away from the kiss, I see a heart-broken Italian looking at me. Oh, no. I've made another mistake!

* * *

And that Chapter 8 completed! Omg, this chapter makes me want to cry! I'm really starting to feel like Natalia! And it's funny because she's about my height, has the same hair colour as me, and same eye colour (but my eyes are usually grey). I really love NataliaxFeliciano, now! But I think I'm starting to like NataliaxToris, too. Haha. Oh well! Chapter 9, coming soon to a computer screen near you! ^.^


	9. Chapter 9

3....2....1...and LIFT-OFF! I'm only kidding. You're not witnessing a space shuttle launch at NASA. It's just Chapter 9 of 'Do you know...what you mean to me?' Now, you may be wondering why there are random dots in the title I just wrote and the title that you see when you're looking at the Hetalia fanfiction part of the site. I have a VERY good reason for this. won't let me put the dots in the middle. I tried it, they got rid of it, and ended up looking stupid. So I had to make a few changes. But, the title you see here is the real title, don't be fooled! Hey, I said DON'T! No, don't follow that stranger! He won't give you candy! Get away from him! Oh, and by the way, when Natalia is on the balcony, it's because the ballroom is on the 2nd floor of Francis' house...so there's a balcony outside. I apologize for the confusion. And now, on to the very uninteresting disclaimer (you know, you can skip it. No one is gonna blame you. Hell, not even the disclaimer minds...right? Oh, I think I hurt his feelings. Please read him to make him feel better).

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.**_

* * *

**Chapter 9 - What's going to happen to me?  
**

I look at Feliciano. His eyes are beginning to water. Oh no, I've really hurt him, again. I can't believe it! Feliciano turns away, and looks like he's crying. I feel...empty. I look at Toris. He hasn't noticed anything yet. I can't believe I'd lost control. Feliciano is not going to forgive me. Yeah, sure, we can be friends again, but...oh my God. I've hurt him far worse than Ludwig hurt him or Toris hurt me. I start crying again. The world around me fades away, fades into the darkness my heart resided in until I had truly met Feliciano. My heart is turning cold again, I can feel it in my chest. That familiar feeling of a frozen heart. I can't let that happen again. I have to come back into the light! I don't want the world to be dark again! It's cold and scary! Especially when you're alone.

"Lithuania. I'm sorry, but I love Italy." I say, wiping my eyes.  
"Yeah, I know that. I can tell. You two are cute together." he smiles.  
"But...I think I love you too." I look into his eyes. He's no longer hurt, he's...happy?  
"R-really? After all those years of chasing after you, and then hurting you? You love me, too?" he asks. Is he...surprised?  
"Yes. I don't know why, and I don't know how. I just do. I...can't believe I'm making a choice between my boyfriend and you. Not that there's anything wrong with you. It's just...I don't know. Italy has seen us and I don't think he's going to-" I'm interrupted by Toris.  
"Wait...Italy saw us? He saw us kiss? Oh no! Belarus, I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I shouldn't have been so selfish! I know you two were a couple, but I couldn't help it! I've ruined it, haven't I? I'm so sorry!" he says meaning it.  
"I-I need some air. I'm going to go outside for a minute." I say, walking away.

As I open the door to the balcony, the cold French air hit my face as realization sunk in. I've...cheated on my boyfriend...my best friend...I've hurt him more than I could ever imagine. I wipe away the tears that are falling from my cheeks, and I can hear lively music playing from the ballroom. Everyone was happy, apart from Feliciano. Stupid heart and mind, locked in a permanent battle for supremacy! I just wish...they could agree. I don't want this to be a constant battle ground! I'm...lonely. I just want a hug. Just one warm hug with the feeling of being loved again. The lovely feeling of walking with a vute Italian with the honey eyes. But...he won't take me back. I've hurt him. I might as well have killed him. Maybe that would have hurt less. I jump as someone pokes my shoulder. I turn around. Feliciano?

"Italy-kun! I-" and for the second time tonight, I'm interrupted.  
"Save it. Look, I can't be with someone who is unfaithful. Bela-chan...I'm dumping you. But I still want to be friends, if you want us to be friends, after all. I wish you luck with Lithuania." his voice is cold. Colder than my own heart. I shiver.  
"But, I don't want Lithuania! I want you! Please, don't do this!" I bet, looking into his eyes. I'm about to cry again.  
"I'm sorry. but after what you and Germany did, I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend anymore. You...you're like Holy Roman Empire! Promise to be there and come back later, but you never did! You never do!" he shouts, then turns away and walks back inside.

My heart is freezing over. Back into the depths of darkness for me. Will the light ever shine again in my heart? Without Feliciano...I might as well say goodbye to the light. That beautiful thing that only came when Feliciano started visiting. But now...it's fading away. The darkness is wrapping its cold and twisted fingers around me right now, choking me. It's a short process, but it hurts...I need the light! I can't stay in the darkness, not again! I can't go back there! I don't want to! The reason I was there the first time is because of rejection, I can't let it happen again! The darkness is choking the light out of me, using my pain, suffering and misery for sustanance. I suppose I had fun being in the light. Time to return to darkness, where I belong. Where it's cold and lonely...is that...and arm around me? Who is it? I look at the mystery person. Toris. The darkness had stopped, but the light didn't come back. I'm stuck between light and darkness. What's going to happen to me?

* * *

Aaaand that's the end of Chapter 9! Hurray! I'm warning you now. In this story, Feliciano and Natalia don't get back together. In the sequel? That's a different story heehee. Oh, and I think the next chapter is the last one...oh no! I'm sorry! But, you will know if it's the sequel of this story. You will just need to read the summary. Anyway, I gotta start writing Chapter 10! See you guys later! ^.^ Oh, and keep on reviewin'! I could use ideas for the sequel!


	10. Chapter 10

Oh hiiii, guyyyys! Welcome to Chapter 10 - the final chapter. Can you believe that I was almost crying during the last chapter? Yeah, even I found it sad. Don't ask about the darkness bit, by the way...I just felt like that's how I used to be until I met one of my friends, and then I moved away, and the loneliness came back. So yeah, that part is based on personal experience. Dark days for me, very dark. Um, yeah, anyway...I need a distraction, Johnny! Play the tune! *that stupid song that the pianoist plays in Family Guy begins to play* Does anyone watch that show? I love it! Really funny show. No, I'm not advertising!

_**DISCLAIMER - I DO NOT OWN AXIS POWERS HETALIA (OR FAMILY GUY!! Yes, I so did have to add that. Oh, shut up!) OR ITS CHARACTERS! Well, I do own any character I make up.**_

* * *

**Chapter 10 - After all, all good things have to come to an end, right?  
**

I look at Toris. He is the reason I'm not with Feliciano. No...it's my fault. My own heart's fault. I hurt my best friend...I will never live that down. Especially if Francis hears...he'll be going on about how you shouldn't ruin love like that. Jackass.

"Belarus, are you okay?" a voice says. I don't recall whose voice it is....Toris!  
"N-no! I've ruined everything! He dumped me! I can't believe it! I still love him! He won't listen to me! Why won't he listen to me?" I close my eyes, trying to kill the tears stinging my eyes. I don't want Toris to feel bad, either!  
"I'm sure he will forgive you! But...he won't take you back. Not after what I did. I'm so sorry, Belarus!" he hugs me. I can feel him trying not to cry. I feel terrible.  
"No, it's okay. Me and Italy...we'll still be friends! That's what he said! He meansit, right?" I ask. God, I feel like a child. A child who has lost everything once more.  
"Yeah, I'm sure he does. Italy would never lie to you or anyone else!" he says, stroking my hair. The light is coming back! At last!  
"You're right. I really care about you, Lithuania." I say, breaking from the hug to kiss him.

Okay, some of you will call it a moment of weakness, others just wrong. But...I really do care about him. The rest of the night just flew by. I can remember the countdown to 2010, and then Feliciano leaving. I can remember leaving in Toris' car, but then...it's blank. I honestly can't remember.

...okay, where the hell am I? This is not my country, my house, or even my bed! Where am I...oh, I think I know what happened last night. Well...what the hell was I thinking? Especially with Toris! A moment of weakness again! Oh God, no wonder Feliciano can't trust me anymore! I feel terrible. I've ruined my life, but...that can't stop me from being happy! I suppose I'm dating Toris now. I look at the asleep figure next to me. Toris is still asleep? At 10 in the morning? God, how lazy! I can't sleep. I feel...well, dirty! How the hell did I even agree to it? The asleep country is waking up! About time, too! He opens those blue eyes, and my heart flutters. There's no point in resisting now, is there? I look at him, smiling. He looks kinda cute when he's only just woken up.

"Morning, lazy! It's 10! How can you still be asleep?" I say in a pretend angry tone.  
"Morning Belarus! Are you okay? You look a bit...shocked?" he says in a questioning tone.  
"Yeah...I forgot about last night, and got scared. Glad you noticed my shock." I giggle.  
"Do you remember now, though?" he raises an eyebrow.  
"Yeah, of course." I say, kissing him. His lips are pretty soft.  
"That's good then. Did you enjoy last night, then?" he asks. I'm trying to remember...oh, I remember everything now. Including Feliciano's pained expression when he left.  
"Yeah, I did. So, now what do we do? Have breakfast? Or are we going to lie here until lunchtime?" I ask, checking the time.  
"Let's just stay here. I don't want to move." he smiles. He has a really nice smile.

And that's it. I suppose you could say I've ruined my life, but I think I just ended one of the chapters, and a new one is beginning. Of course, I'll always love Feliciano, but...he doesn't want me anymore. Holy Roman Empire...the boy who promised to come back to Feliciano when the war ended, but he never did. Another person who hurt Feliciano. Of course, I'll still feel empty, even if I do marry Toris, but...I have to live with my mistake. After all, all good thing have to come to an end, right?

* * *

And that's it! The end of Chapter 10 and 'Do you know...what you mean to me?'. Don't worry, I'll be writing the sequel as soon as I get an idea. Feedback of this story, ideas, questions and comments are welcome with open arms. This is the shortest chapter in this story, and the only one under 1000 words. Wow, shocking! But, yeah. You will see which story on the Hetalia section of this site is the sequel, because it will say that in the summary heehee! See you guys in the next story. By the way, sorry for the terrible chapter, and sorry if I made any of you cry! I know that I almost cried at some bits! And I'm the authoress, for goodness sakes! See you all later! ^.^


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